her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize