hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
