That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
