chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it's like iHOP with fire
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize