He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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