I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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