Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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