my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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