mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
