Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
