Please don't use social media to get back at me.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize