Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
