she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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