I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
