she was so not down for the gang bang
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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