I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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