Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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