My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
