but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
