She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
