when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
