great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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