hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
