Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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