Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize