i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize