Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
