so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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