He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just want nice things and good sex
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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