Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
