I'm going to jail i love you
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
