i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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