so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
