I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
