U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
