I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
