i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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