I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
