That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I think your dad took our porno
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
