I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
