'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
