Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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