She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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