Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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