do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
