I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
