How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
