you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize