another moral hangover. fuck.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
