okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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