the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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