I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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