oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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