I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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