peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
