would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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