Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
