I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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