Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
