I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
