The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
