Don't EVER smell your tampon
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize